Collin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

“Who the hell are you?” Demanded Collin, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

The mysterious Man answered, “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”.

Collin was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said good-bye to my family….you’ve go t to send me back straight away”.

St Peter replied “Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.”

Collin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

“This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?”

“It’s not so bad” replies Collin, “but I have this strange
feeling inside like I’m about to explode”.

“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”. “Never” replies Collin

“Well just relax and let it happen”

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him…ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting
Collin, skrik wakker jou dronk vark, jy KAK in die bed!!!”

Ingredients

500g self-raising flour
1/2 tsp salt
125g cheddar, cut into small cubes
340ml beer (a can in South Africa, slightly less than a full can here in the UK)
50ml water
1Tbsp fresh thyme
50ml sesame or sunflower seeds
Maldon salt to sprinkle on top

Method

Pre-heat the oven to 180C  Grease a small loaf tin.

Sift flour and salt together in a mixing bowl.  Stir in the beer, cheese, water and thyme.  You can add a little water if the dough is too dry.  Mix until all the flour has been moistened and the dough forms a cohesive mass.

Transfer the dough to the loaf tin, sprinkle with seeds and Maldon salt and place in the pre-heated oven.

Test with a skewer after about one hour when the top is golden brown – if the skewer comes out clean, remove from oven. Serve with plenty of butter.

NB – leave to cool for 10 minutes or so before you slice!!

The only way to braai chicken: must be room temperature. put chicken in a LARGE dish with a liquid seal lid. Add plenty olive oil, herbs, spices of your choice, some fresh lemon juice, garlic etc. Close container (a pick ‘n pay bag will do) and shake up. Allow to marinade for at least half hour, shaking/ mixing often. Cook on a medium to hot fire, turning often, until meat just pulls away from the bone. Guaranteed crispy skin and the flavour of spices etc pulled into meat…!!